The Kolumn: Issue #03

Posted by adamDMK on February 21st, 2003

Look who’s back in town! You guys didn’t expect to see me huh? Well not for a while at least. After a three-month absence, I have returned to drop a few… lines! So get comfortable in your chair, perhaps grab a drink or a bite to eat, and fixate your eyes upon my paragraphs.

What does Mortal Kombat mean to you? That’s a good question for all of us to think about. Go outside, I know it’s winter so put on your jackets if you live in a cold atmosphere, and ask an average Joe what does Mortal Kombat mean to him? I’ll bet you a million bucks that the average Joe will answer, “It’s just a video game.” That will be the answer you’ll receive from 9 out of 10 people you ask. To almost everyone, Mortal Kombat is a video game with lots of blood. Blood, blood, blood, and violence, violence, violence, is what made Mortal Kombat famous. But to us the Mortal Kombat fans, the 1 out of 10, the handful of fans around the world, Mortal Kombat isn’t just about blood and violence.

True, the blood and violence is what intrigued us in the first place. But once you get into the Mortal Kombat universe, you move past the blood and violence sort of like you move past sleeping in a crib when you’re an infant. You MUST move past the blood and violence if you consider yourself a true Mortal Kombat fan. If you’re still playing Mortal Kombat because you’re fascinated with blood, then check out other bloody games. If you’re a true Mortal Kombat fan, follow me.

When Mortal Kombat first hit the arcades back in 1992, I was 16 years old. I was your average teenager you could say. Everybody made a big deal about Mortal Kombat. It was definitely the most talked about video game in school at the time. But it was only available at the arcades at the time, and I absolutely hated arcades. Talk about a retro flashback. But anyway I just ignored Mortal Kombat; I barely even liked fighting games. I still had my Nintendo Entertainment System with Super Contra and Game Genie jammed in it. Tecmo Super Bowl and Blades of Steel were sitting on the side. I had just bought the new 16-bit holy shit Sega Genesis; it came with Sonic the Hedgehog mind you. What the hell did I care about some gay fighting game with blue and yellow queer ninja’s spewing blood on each other? Well all that was about to change, drastically!

One day I went to one of my friend at the time’s house. He lived in a little apartment with his Mom, Uncle who loved porn, and 2 baby sisters. So it wasn’t a really fun place to hang out. But we left his house and a block away was a local convenience store. I wondered how much fun a convenience store could be. Once we got to the store, a huge arcade with a guy with sunglasses on the side of it sat in the back of the store. As my friend and I walked closer to the huge machine, I saw the title of the game… oh it’s that gay ass Mortal Komat game. My friend popped in a few quarters and started playing.

My friend wasn’t bad at all. He kicked the living hell out of the computer. Then after he was done, he asked me if I wanted to try the game. Hey what the hell, let’s see if it is really what everyone says it is? So I popped in a few quarters my friend gave me and I was about to fight him. Now I had to choose a fighter. My choices all looked like Super Mario Bros. Characters on acid. So I ended up choosing the gay looking white guy. They gave him the name Johnny Cage. Oh that’s cool! Let’s all be like Johnny Cage, and wear daisy dukes and slick our hair like something out of a bad early 90’s martial arts movie. But anyway, my friend chose the Bruce Lee clone. So the fight began and my friend totally whooped my ass. I didn’t think I was going to win, but I started to like the game anyway. So I fought him again, but this time I chose the fairy looking blue ninja. As the 2nd fight began, I moved the arcade joystick and pushed some odd buttons and I froze my opponent. Holy shit! How did this happen. Then from that moment on I whooped his ass for my first ever Mortal Kombat win. I am the Mortal Kombat king! Not really, but I wish sometimes. From then on, I would go almost every weekend and play Mortal Kombat at the little convenience store, sometimes by myself. I would play as long as I could, or until the store owner told me to leave. Then, one day while reading my beloved Gamepro, I saw Mortal Kombat coming to home consoles. This was the day I became a full-fledged fan. I bought Mortal Kombat for my Sega Genesis when it came out and I still play it on the same system to this very day.

Since becoming a Mortal Kombat fan, I’ve bought every game and almost everything I see with Mortal Kombat on it. For God’s sake, I even bought the Mortal Kombat action figures, I have the GI Joes to the 6″ or whatever they were and I’m in my twenties while doing all of this. Kind of odd to see a grown man buying action figures at the toy store. Yeah it’s for my nephew! My wife probably thinks I’m a weird man because of Mortal Kombat, but what the hell I can I do?

Mortal Kombat brought me into another universe. John Tobias and Ed Boon created another world for each and every one of us. It’s a contemporary mythology. We need more stories, more mythologies to join the ranks of modern mythologies like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. And for all of us who were into swords, dragons, gods, Bruce Lee, saw our new mythology in Mortal Kombat. I’ve been playing, watching, reading, Mortal Kombat for the past 11 years and I’m not sick of it yet, nor will I ever be. That’s what Mortal Kombat means to me. I’m not in it for the blood or the violence. It mesmerizes me to an extent, which cannot be explained. I love Mortal Kombat, and I always will. It’s not just a video game filled with blood.