The Kolumn: Issue #11

Posted by Richard Walker on November 28th, 2006

Yes, you ARE reading correctly, no need to adjust your monitors. Ladies, gentlemen, and Dave, this is The Kolumn.

Now just in case you don’t know me, I am Richard Walker – your party host, and the brand-spankin’ NEW head Kolumn writer. From today, every fortnight here on Dave’s Mortal Kombat, I will conjure up a new edition featuring talks of blood, obliteration, gore, and oh-so much more relating to everyone’s favourite video game series: Mortal Kombat. If you want some evidence of my MK experience, check out my Guest Kolumns, or even Mortal Kombat Champions. (Look to the affiliates section)

In each new issue of The Kolumn, I shall jabber on about anything and everything to do with the MK universe – the movies, the games, the storylines, rumours, news, and other crap. What you may not read too much of is talk about the newer MK games. Partly because I don’t own them. (Please, don’t shoot me) But primarily because, as perversely kick-ass and ingenious the newer games have been (Especially MK: Armageddon), they’re only half of the MK franchise, believe it or not. In fact, after saying that, I may talk about klassic MK games more often than the newer ones! (Again, don’t shoot me)

Hear me out. MK games are unique in almost every way. (And, funnily enough, at the same time they’re all the same) The one thing every MK game does so well is produce something new through MEMORABLE MOMENTS. Each one bears fruit with such an astute taste of blood and sheer awesomeness so tasty that you’d think you’re a vampire. From the strict fight-to-the-brutal-end kombat feel of MK1, to the dazzling mini-game madness of the latest installment MK: Armageddon, each MK game has set itself apart from the other and paved it’s own way. As a result, every MK game since the very beginning has been generating unforgettable, momentous sights and changes.

And a fact is sometimes in life, we need to look back on the past. Maybe just to remind us how good something is in times of despair with it, maybe just to bring back some kick-ass memories, maybe to see how much progress has been made and evaluate. For example, I remember some of the very first things I did on my very first computer. When I think about that, it makes me grin from ear-to-ear. We all need a bit of nostalgia every now and again, because we can make the present happen anywhere, anytime. The past will always remain in the past for us to look back and smile about.

MK is no exception. For a bunch of games that are so enticing in their own individual way, it’s not a good idea to just drop them all in favour of the newer games. Sometimes the somewhat-primitive gameplay and cool visuals of say, MK Trilogy, will help you appreciate newer MK games just a little bit more. And besides, if newer MK games are good enough, then they’ll carve their own slot into your hall of fame. (Or infame. Yeah, I’m talking to YOU, MK4. You disgust me) I’m not saying don’t ever buy another MK game again, nor am I saying live in the past like some maniac woman who got jilted at the altar. I’m saying don’t discard those wonderful, wonderful memories.

Don’t know what I mean? You obviously haven’t played a lot of Mortal Kombat. Or at least as much as I have. This video game series has been the most impactful on my video game leisure time, and I have great events etched into my mind. When I think of MK1, I think of my battles with then-secret character Reptile. (None of which I’ve won, by the way) When I think of MKII, I think of the very first time I played MK. (Getting my ass kicked by Mileena’s Teleport Kick) When I think of MK: Deadly Alliance, I remember completing a branch combo with Johnny Cage in Konquest Mode that my friend couldn’t do.

What do you remember when playing older MK games? Looming over an arcade machine, furiously punching away at the buttons to get your money’s worth? First fatality you ever performed, maybe? Laughing your ass off at the ridiculousness of Animalities and Friendships? Whatever you think of, the MK memories are good ones. After all, if we never remembered the callous roar of ‘Get Over Here!’, and other great recollections, we wouldn’t be lapping up every game Midway had to offer us today… would we?

Thanks for reading, dudes and dudettes. Until next time, peace and blessings to y’all.